The Cats are Not in Control – I Demand Respect!

Who is in charge, here?

smarty cat

Don’t mind me.  My owner just decided that reading this was worth your time to look at it.

It has been said that Dogs have Masters and Cats have Staff.  I find this preposterous.  Dogs are more physically capable, they can balance on a tightrope The balance dogand stand up on a swaying rope line on their hind legs – I’ve never seen a cat take that leap of faith – and they totally act according to the laws of nature (or natural selection.)  I have decided to take action.

We’ve got a new game in our house called,”Where’s Kitty?”

How's this for intelligent?  A piñata cat.

How’s this for intelligent? A piñata cat.

Basically, this new game was inspired by the constant interference (or interruptions) of our female 2 year old cat that is so darned needy that she seeks human attention about 96.3% of the day.  When she wakes me up to “play” at around 3:30am every morning, I usually give in and “pet” her back to peaceful inactivity.  PhilSpectorBatshitCrazyBut……. this sometimes starts my day too early when I can’t get back to sleep, and that is quite aggravating.

So I am trying to take control back from the cat.  When she wakes me up I sit up in bed, look around in the dark (like always – cats have good night vision), and start wandering the room and hall whispering her name. She quietly meows and expects me to bend over or sit down to pet her – but not this time – I just keep acting like I can’t see her and I keep walking.  She is also sensitive to the ‘worried’ stress sound in my voice as I softly squeal – and I keep doing this while she stands in front of me and becomes more and more frustrated that I am not finding her.  I’ll go out of the room and she’ll follow and race in front continually making a peep-peep sound to tell me that,”Here I am!” – but I keep ignoring her presence.

Cats do not understand invisible.  lasercatI have proven this with the other cat – a big furry male who is bat-crazy for laser pointers on the floor and on the wall.  So the bottom line here is that the female is now little-by-little becoming paranoid and is starting to learn I am not on her volunteer squad of cat loving idiots and beginning to respect humans.  This is something that I figure is a mental process that cats cannot command.

But I’ll bet that balancing dog can.

 

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